Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
