I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
