I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
I am mentally ready for anal.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Randomize
