Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
