If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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