I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
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