fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
another moral hangover. fuck.
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
