If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
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