I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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