guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
