Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
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