why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize
