dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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