There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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