I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
