If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
