are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Randomize
