you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
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I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
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i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
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