If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
