WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
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