So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
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I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
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I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
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