ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
25 People Admit the Worst Things They’ve Done for Good Reasons
Who wears a wallet chain?!
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
25 Things All Men Can Definitely Agree On
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.