I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
Randomize
