Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
I need to sanitize my soul.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
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