I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
