So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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