It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Never underestimate the power of titties
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize