4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
I'm jealous of your bromance
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
