Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Randomize
