apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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