i'm signing you up for texting rehab
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
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