i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
