I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
