Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
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