I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
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We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
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I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Randomize