what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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