Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Randomize