The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
