I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
people are starting to question the shark bite story
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
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i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
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You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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