Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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