i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
Randomize
