So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
