i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
