I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
