Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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