It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
