he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
Randomize
