how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Randomize
