just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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