Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Randomize
