on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
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