I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize