Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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