quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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