i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
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Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
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