3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
