his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
