I hate all girls vehemently.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Randomize
